i am an extremely anxious person. i struggle with it all the time, almost daily, and have for the last few years. both the sychiatrists i went too,, or however the hellll you spell that..amongst some other diagnosis, said i had anxiety disorder.
the other things were a minimal case of borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, a low case of bi polar disorder and nas despression. so obviously ive been painted up to have some issues. ive never really been on on going medications simply because of how they are expensive they are. and sometimes i go thru phases where i seem okay, but sometimes things get worse, more symptoms arise, and i feel completely broken. and ive been feeling it alot, ESP the anxiety and bi polar stuff. i dont know what to do, its really hard to deal with.
went to a DEP MEETING THIS MORNING. the last one before i leave on the 8th. I did it on 2 hrs of sleep..working out stuff and a run in this crazy heat! it wasnt that bad though, i think the mocha expresso drink at 8am saved me. i was at the meeting from 830 to 12. im actually kinda excited for basic now tho, i feel like im ready because today all these guys acted like they were dying on the run, and for me it was quite easy really. so that made me feel better. i have some serious withdrawals from things though that will be extremely difficult. :/
I dont feel very deep today, just sad. My siblings (minus john) are just continually blowing me off. and it hurts. like really really really really really hurts bad. im going to miss them so bad, as i do now. thats it.
lovelovelove.
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