days and nights

so im sitting here listening to swimming with dolphins, silhouettes, hair a little greasy, ( I need to get up and go shower), feeling a little sore on my stomach, since i got my bellybutton pierced with my roomate tonight, and listening to That 70's show on the tv and my puppy running around the apartment non stop in the background.

I'm craving fruit gushers, for some reason unknown to me, since i've probably eaten them five times in my entire lifespan. And I'm so thirsty for water i feel like i could drink two or three gallons. I'm kinda bored, ryans at work until 11pm, but really i just don't think i feel like doing anything, its not that I'm bored. I get so tired of moving sometimes, and sitting here with nothing moving but my fingers across the keys feels like home. I love it.

You know you can be anywhere in the world, but typing feels exactly the same, the smooth buttons touching the bottom of your fingers, the palm of your hands occasionally grazing across the laptop, and sometimes you can feel the edge of the table or desk slightly digging into your elbow area. And then when you type really quickly, like me, you can even feel the air on your fingers as they wisp around. It's an art. And something I would never give up. Something else that feels the same anywhere in the world, eating a chipotle burrito. Just saying ;) haha but seriously. It's simple pleasures like typing that I seem to look pass, but I should find joy in EVERYTHING. maybe then the joy would out do the frustrations. I feel myself getting frustrated at the littlest things lately, and i wonder if my patience is wearing down. I'm really patience with people, but not so much with bad drivers or when i press the wrong button and open the tv program on my phone and it takes like 45 seconds to load! Oh Lord help me right?! Haha. come on, you know your that anal.

I really don't know why I decided to go to blogspot and write this, I don't have anything substantial to share. Just felt like writing. I have so much to look forward too and I'm getting really excited! Birthday weekend in D.C. with the fam (minus lala :( ) and then daytona at the end of june! days of work just get me closer so i dont mind them...passing by so droll like. My life is dull...I think. Ryan and I had our first marriage counseling session last thursday and I was so encouraged Ryan talked! He seems to really want to participate and be involved in this and Im so glad. Anything is possible when both people are willing to take advice and change! Ryan and I love eachother so much, just thinking about makes me feel happy. I know that if we can learn how to communicate in a way we take what we're saying to the other person the right way, we'll be a really happy couple. if that makes sense. It's SO odd I'm married when I think about it, and how I'll always be married now, I feel pretty at ease though about the thought, which i guess is good!

I'm just going to put this out there.
I think about having a baby at least two times a DAY! Every day. I'm not exaggerating. I think sex is less exciting because I know theres ZERO chance I can accidently get pregnant now that Im on the Depo shot. STUPID RIGHT? ahh its just girls are having babies all around me in the NAVY, everywhere i look, some woman is waddling around looking like her babies about to fall out right then. im sooo jealous. I don't know whats wrong with me, I feel like I'm sick in the head thinking about having a baby this bad. Does anyone else go thru this phase??!! will it end?!! I find myself planning my future around having a bably. And then I go back and forth with trying to find excuses to just have one in the next year. Oh,....I'm so sad. haha.

Anyways, I should go, I'm just rambling.
I think I'm feeling some copeland coming on :)
and some pjs..im ready to be out of these jeans.

goodnight lovelies.
xoxo